Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Conservative Talk Show Host Spontaneously Combusts During “Myth of Global Warming Rally”

Phoenix conservative talk show host Rory McVear appeared to spontaneously combust while doing a live broadcast from his “Myth of Global Warming Rally” in the parking lot of the Sunwest Shopping Center in Scottsdale.

McVear, host of the popular call-in show “The Real Story With Rory”, held the outdoor rally primarily to protest the success of Al Gore’s film “An Inconvenient Truth” which is currently playing at the Sunwest 16 Stadium movie theater. Transcripts show McVear was doing an imitation of Al Gore at the moment he burst into flame. “Hi, I’m Al Gore, tonight I’d like to scare you all to death so I can start my ‘08 campaign for president of the...ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!,” said McVear as his body was suddenly consumed by flame.

“Well it was 120 or so degrees out there and lord knows how much hotter it was on that asphalt, “ said McVear’s longtime producer Ray Frankleer. “I told Rory we should move inside but he wouldn’t hear of it, said he loved the heat. Man, he went off like a roman candle, I’ve never seen anything like it. It took the firemen almost an hour to put him out. Sad too, because all we planned on burning out there were copies of Gore’s book.”

“Look, I’m sure all the ecolo-nazis out there will claim global warming caused the excessive temperatures which caused Rory’s calcination, but I’m sure it was just bad luck,” said Frankleer. “Rory always said these tree huggers want to blame mankind first but c’mon, people burst into pillars of scorching fire everyday! So what if temperatures are climbing to 120 or 150, it’s just a natural process the earth goes through. I will not let these deluded scientists’ theories sully the memory of this great man.....or his large pile of ashes.”


Blogger fallenmonk said...

I've heard of carrying a torch for something but becoming a torch is a little over the top.
I have always said you really need to get "fired up" over your beliefs but this is a bit extreme.
I'll bet the maintenance people are going to be really pissed at having to clean up such a big grease spot.

5:32 PM  

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