Thursday, July 20, 2006

President Bush Vetoes Stem Cell Bill to Protect Innocent Human Life Not Living In Iraq

President Bush vetoed a bill Wednesday which would have expanded federal research on embryonic stem cells, saying he could not morally allow the taking of innocent human life not living in Iraq.

Surrounded by children born as a result of embryo-adoption programs President Bush said, “these embryos are each a unique human life with dignity and matchless value and luckily they live here in the States. Granted, a mess of folks are dying over there in Iraq but they are acceptable losses in the struggle to establish liberty in the Middle East and not defenseless microscopic bundles of cells. I think the difference is clear.”

“I know I could not in good conscience sleep at night if I signed a bill that would result in the death of these embryos,” said President Bush. “and I suppose this Iraq war should cause me some sleepless nights too, but quite frankly I’ve been sleeping like a baby. Now I understand that my piss-poor planning has resulted in the loss of countless innocent Iraqi infants, children and elderly but I guess those folks happen to live outside my moral boundary.”

“I vow to continue to defend these American zygotes,” said President Bush, “even as I continue to not give a tinker’s damn about daily post-embryonic fatalities in Baghdad. What can I say? I’m a complicated guy.”


Blogger Flubberwinkle said...

The imaginary line that discerns satire from reality is no longer visible with GW. Your post, Dr. Max, is so insightful that it's scary.

12:38 AM  
Anonymous Snake (a Cambridge kind of guy) said...

It sounds extremely callous even to pose the question, but I'm wondering what the administration's policy is with respect to the torture of embryos.

10:17 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

Top 10 Dubya moments.


Hiya Doc!

10:18 AM  
Blogger sideshow bob said...

We need those zygotes to fight in the Gulf Wars of the future!

6:43 PM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Good thinking, SSB!

11:08 PM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

It's getting harder and harder to be satirical with GW. His whole world is so wierd and unreal that you can't make up stuff any stranger.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zardoz says:


thank you doc ....but its not doing it.

9:57 PM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...



4:25 PM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

maybe instead of surrounding him with the few children that resulted from embryonic adoption, they should have surrounded him with mountains of corpses of people who died but might have been saved through the expansion of embryonic stem cell research as well as a few mountains of embryos that were collected but went to waste.

2:49 PM  

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