Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Astronomer Using Keck Observatory To Discover New Planets and Chicks in Bikinis


Dr. Randolph Kendledown astronomer at NASA’s Keck Interferometer Observatory in Hawaii is using the power of it’s twin telescopes to discover “previous unknown planets outside our solar system and some really hot chicks in bikinis down on the beach.”

Located at the summit of Mauna Kea the Keck Interferometer consists of two 33-foot telescopes whose light is combined to produce a resolving power equal to that of a football-field sized telescope. “The observation power provided by the Keck Interferometer gives me the ability to survey solar systems light years away and discover the signs of distant planets,” said Dr. Kendledown. “Not to mention my ability to see babes with huge cans on the beaches 14,000 feet below.”

“Recently we were able to use the Keck Interferometer to reduce the light of the star Vega by 100 times,” said Dr. Kendledown. “By blocking the interfering light of these stars we hope to be able to spot actual earth-like planets and through spectrometry get a picture of their chemical make up. It also gives us the ability to observe the wet t-shirt contests thrown by Al’s Seaside Tiki Bar & Resort.”

“The Keck Observatory is an invaluable tool,” said Dr. Kendledown. “It may allow us to make the first detailed observations of exoplanets that would be capable of producing life while also allowing me to ogle some foxes in skimpy bikinis that I’d totally like to do.”

7 Comments:

Blogger Sylvana said...

You know they are doing it too.

2:44 PM  
Blogger sideshow bob said...

If Bush knew about this maybe he'd stop cutting funding for science programs.

2:49 PM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

I'm not sure but with the resolution on that telescope array you might only be able to see a couple of sqaure inches on babes just 14,000 feet away. That's assuming he is looking at the ladies on the island of Hawaii...he may be checking out Maui.

7:35 PM  
Anonymous Snake (a Cambridge kind of guy) said...

This sheds a whole new light on the expression "good seeing."

8:02 PM  
Blogger Flubberwinkle said...

That's what some people might consider "mighty fine job bonuses".

1:09 AM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Too bad it's not a clothing optional beach!

9:16 PM  
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10:43 PM  

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