Monday, June 19, 2006

Republican Leadership Blames Democrats For Not Having Solutions For Republican Screw-Ups


Leaders in the Republican party today blamed Democrats for not offering realistic solutions for all the screw-ups Republicans have made while controlling all branches of government.

“Democrats are great at criticizing the administration for Iraq,” said Republican Party head, Ken Mehlman, “yet when it comes to offering a comprehensive plan that will assure a stable government in Iraq, the end to all sectarian violence in the region, the peaceful withdrawal of all US troops in the country and the end of all terrorism everywhere so mankind will live in peace and harmony forever, the silence is deafening. Don’t they understand that this war we Republicans started has cost us 2,501 troops and nearly $300 billion dollars so far?! This is so typical of Democrats, they’re always gung-ho to vote for a misguided policy when a Republican administration misleads them about the case for war, yet when the going gets tough they start whining about finding no WMD’s or not having control of either houses of congress. It’s a shame that the Democratic party is so partisan that they won’t save our country from our own moronic Republican leadership!”

Republican House leader Dennis Hastert says Democrats did nothing to stop Republican Representatives from getting involved in corruption. “I was here when Delay let Abramoff’s money start flowing in. It was heartbreaking to see how easily the members of my party fell prey to huge wads of cash, poker parties and hookers, particularly since we always claimed the Republican party was the party of responsibility. What really gets me though is not one Democrat lifted a finger to prevent a Republican from engaging in corruption, it was like they expected my guys to uphold their sacred oaths of office and keep the interests of their constituents above those of special interests...all on their own! With so many of my Republican colleges under indictment, I just don’t know how these Democrats can sleep at night!”

Senate Republican leader Bill Frist also was critical of Democrats for continuing to allow Republicans to pander to their base with issues like Terri Schiavo, flag burning and gay marriage. “I’m a Doctor for Christ’s sake, “ said Frist, ”you don’t think I felt like an idiot diagnosing that poor woman by video tape? Where were these Democrats when I did that? Not one of them had the courage to tackle me or break the camera or anything. No, they just let me make a fool of myself. McCain’s gonna use that footage all during the primaries I just know it! Thanks to you Democrats, I have to spend my days writing up useless gay marriage and flag burning constitutional amendment legislation. Why can't you guys can’t get your shit together long enough to win control of one damn house? I tell you, some days I just feel like taking that blind trust money and retiring.”

4 Comments:

Anonymous Snake (a Cambridge kind of guy) said...

It's kind of strange: The Republicans can spend years screwing up the country, and the Democrats--being cognizant of all the problems created--become the party of negativity, despite all the demonstrable negatives, and worse, inflicted on us by the Republicans.

10:04 AM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Just goes to show that democracy is a sham. Those democrats were elected specifically to clean up the mess in Washington and they're not doing a damned thing. For shame! For shame!

10:26 PM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

PERFECT!! I want to make this title into a bumber sticker. That is so PERFECT!!

6:04 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

Pretty close to the 4th of July so I want to wish a Happy 4th to you US folks while I'm here!

And Doc keep up the excellent work!!! I hope your "Still Alive" post found a happy ending...

7:52 AM  

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