Thursday, May 11, 2006

NSA Wireless “You Talk, We Listen” Plan Offers Free RAZR Phones


The National Security Agency announced today that they are offering free Motorola RAZR V3 phones to anyone who signs up for their “You Talk, We Listen” wireless phone plan. “NSA Wireless is always looking for innovative ways to introduce customers to our fine service,” said spokesperson Lt. Jenny Bradington, “we think these free RAZR phones are perfect for students, busy moms, peace activists, Democrats and foreigners from Islamic countries.”

“These RAZRs have all the hot options phone customers are looking for,” said Lt. Bradington. “We’ve got Bluetooth headsets as standard, a 3 megapixel digital camera, and, in an NSA Wireless exclusive, free GPS mapping! The GPS feature is invaluable for hiking, car navigation and triangulating F-18 air strikes. Don’t leave home without it!”

Signing up is simple, just head over to any NSA Wireless office and after a thorough cavity search you will be taken to a registration cell. There teams of NSA agents...er, I mean, sales associates will obtain your fingerprints and DNA. You will provide us with a complete history of your life and valid explanations for any trips you have ever taken overseas. After interrogation you will be asked to sign a loyalty oath to President Bush and have a back-up tracking chip surgically implanted into your skull. After that the cool RAZR phone is all yours!”

“At NSA Wireless you get the most free minutes of any cellular plan,” said Lt. Bradington, “our “You Talk, We Listen” plan features unlimited 24 hour calling, including nights and weekends, local and long distance. Our NSA operators are always standing by too, listening to each and every call you make, recording everything you say. And, for a limited time, if we overhear you say certain secret names, words or phrases, you’ll be an instant winner! NSA associates will converge on your location to award you with an all-expenses-paid rendition flight to a surprise location overseas! You won’t even have to pack! If you’re a loyal American I’d advise you to sign up today.”

6 Comments:

Blogger Grace said...

Ohh, ohh, ohh -- do I get to keep my same phone number?

6:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zardoz says:

hey doc order me a couple of those.


=z=

12:45 AM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

You forgot to mention the "Friends and Family" program and the free caller ID. Anyone you call gets free recording and call monitoring free of charge. All your family and friends can be a part of the program with no cost.
You can guarantee we will ID every caller you have.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Flubberwinkle said...

Can I get the "I-SPY" tv series theme ringtone with that?

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Snake (a Cambridge kind of guy) said...

Now I know how far I've fallen when I'd actually consider a plan like that just to save a few dollars each month.

7:36 PM  
Blogger Ricky Ramirez said...

good block!

oh yessss, good blog too..

6:17 PM  

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