Thursday, May 04, 2006

Goth Youth Ashamed of Secret Feelings of Joy


I gotta get to a doctor or something, man. Something is seriously wrong with me. I don’t know why, but all Spring long I’ve had these horrible feelings of joy and happiness. Dude, I’m begging you, do not tell the other goths.

I can not figure out where all this damn glee is coming from! Nothing has changed in my life. I get up every morning, put on my heavy black eye liner and lipstick, grab my black leather long-rider coat and head off to school. Once there I sit through my usual boring classes headed by dumb teachers. Afterwards I meet up with my other goth friends. We sit around and talk about how everything popular is stupid and how existence itself seems meaningless. Y’know, same ol’, same ol.

So as I’m walking home from school the other week, what do I catch myself doing? Whistling for Christ’s sake! Me, a goth, whistling! And that’s not the worst of it...it was showtune...from CATS!

I’ve tried doing some of the things I really enjoy to make myself feel normal. I pierced my other nipple, I got that tattoo of the rabid dog with blood gushing from the eye sockets and I’ve even reread my favorite Anne Rice novels, but no go. I just can’t seem to shake these awful feelings of optimism.

I’m telling you man, I came this close to volunteering to go over and spend the afternoon with Grandma last weekend. I was actually looking forward to hearing her reminisce about the old days! What the hell is wrong with me?!

I figure this has to be some kind of phase kids my age go through. I’m hoping this disgusting joie de vivre will soon pass and I can return to my warlock training and thrash metal CDs. I’m not asking for much, I just want to get back to the good old days when life was a hollow sham of sorrow and pain.

6 Comments:

Blogger Flubberwinkle said...

Dear young goth dude,
The peach curtains in the background are a telltale symptom of your non-gothness. Peach? Tsk, tsk. Any self-respecting goth would go with either blood red, deep purple or off-black solid.
And what is that on the computer chair? If it's a light blue piece of clothing you're done for dude! They should kick you out of goth club.
Start watching the news again to help you banish any happy thoughts.
Respectfully,
Mom to a not-so-goth kid like you

p.s. Goth kids rule. You only have one load of wash with them: the darks!

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Snake (a Cambridge kind of guy) said...

I never knew that world--I mean truly understood it--until now. Thanks for the revelatory glimpse.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Grace said...

You know what I'd really like to see: goth cheerleading squads at high school sporting events.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA HA HA HAHA

GOTH CHEERLEADING SQUADS.

HAHAHA HAHA HI HI HI HAHA

GREATEST ONE ...


THANK YOU GRACE and of course our HOST


=ZARDOZ=

12:13 PM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Goth cheerleaders and a heavy metal marching band!

7:26 PM  
Blogger sideshow bob said...

This kid obviously doesn't read the papers...

8:19 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home