Tuesday, March 07, 2006

South Dakota’s Rapists and Incest Perpetrators Applaud State’s Defense of Their Fatherhood Rights

A bill which would ban all abortions in South Dakota, unless necessary to save the mother's life, has been applauded by the state’s rapists and incest perpetrators who become fathers through their acts. The bill, designed to challenge Roe V. Wade in the US Supreme Court, makes it a crime for a doctor to perform an abortion, even in a case of rape or incest. It is thought to be the first bill in the nation to defend the fatherhood rights of inhuman monsters.

Will Penstamp, a rapist in Pierre South Dakota, said it was high time the state support his right to become a father. “I’ve been raping on and off for 20 years now,” said Penstamp, “and for me, it’s never been just about the reprehensible sexual assault of a woman’s body. Any true rapist will tell you the real thrill is the control you feel through the shame and scaring you cause in a woman’s life. I would really like to thank the South Dakota state legislature and Governor Mike Rounds in particular for recognizing this fact. By insuring that my victims carry the offspring from my violent act to full term I know they will never forget me. Where other states would callously allow victims an abortion to help them move on with their lives, the good people of South Dakota see me as a dad as well as a rapist. I hope this bill will finally challenge abortion rights in this country, so rapists nationwide will be allowed to experience the joys of fatherhood. But if the Justices only allow abortion bans on a state by state basis, at least rapist dads will know they have a home here in South Dakota!”

Abraham Flagstrom, a Sioux Falls area incest perpetrator, said he is proud to be a citizen of a state that recognizes his right to become a combination father and grandfather. “As a twisted freak who has regularly violated the most sacred trust between a father and daughter, “ said Flagstrom, “this issue means a lot to me. Thank God we still have Republican politicians of courage here in this state, who see it as their duty to require my daughter to spend 9 months carrying the results of my perverted need to break a taboo. In South Dakota, I'm now free to look forward to the day my daughter gives birth to her sister and I can hold my little daughter/granddaughter in my arms. Maybe it's just a dream, but thanks to this bill and the vile impulses that rule my sick life, perhaps one day I can be the father of her child too!”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doc, you've accomplished that rare feat: You've left me speechless.

1:42 PM  
Blogger lindsaylobe said...

And to think I sing the "Black Hills Of Dakota" to my grandson !!

That beautiful Indian Country !!.
What would "Calamity Jane" have to say about all that legislture ? !!

Best wishes

6:30 PM  
Blogger Isaac Carmichael said...

Who would've thought North Dakota would look like a hotbed of enlightenment?

7:14 PM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Of course the REAL reason this bill was signed is because SD is losing population. This is the newest tactic in the effort to repopulate the state. It's a pilot program being watched closely by other states (like ND, SSB)that are also suffering catastrophic population crashes.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Grace Nearing said...


*My highest compliment for political writing

[This is my way of trackback pinging. I just had to link to this!]

9:59 PM  
Blogger DrMax said...

Thanks Grace, and thanks for the link.

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...





== ZARDOZ ==

1:52 AM  
Blogger Flubberwinkle said...

Pungent satire at its best!

3:30 AM  
Blogger fallenmonk said...

Well you sure didn't pull any punches on that one doc. Excellent piece of satire and worthy of a link.

9:25 PM  
Blogger Isaac Carmichael said...

Maybe SD and ND might want to be more like states where people actually want to live, by, like, I don't know...taking care of the environment, keeping church and state separate, making education a priority, stuff like that.

My family loves the Badlands, the Corn Palace, Mt. Rushmore, Custer Park (although that name always bugged me), etc., but we certainly won't be going there as long as SD is passing these draconian laws. I suspect some others feel the same way.

6:33 AM  

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