Saturday, March 18, 2006

Gone Fishin’ With Bub Dinkleman

Bub Dinkleman: Howdy folks, welcome to another episode of Gone Fishin’. I’m your host Bub Dinkleman. Joining me in the 21 foot Stratos 201 fishing boat this week is a great fisherman in his own right, none other than Captain Ahab from the novel Moby-Dick, ready to get after them large mouth bass today Captain?

Captain Ahab: Hast Seen the White Whale?

Bub Dinkleman: Captain Ahab, like I said, we’re looking primarily for large mouth bass today. Shawano Lake here in Wisconsin is prime spot for this great game fish and it’s conveniently located within easy driving distance of the Green Bay Packer Hall of Fame.

Captain Ahab: It’s a white whale, I say, a white whale. Skin your eyes for him, men: look sharp for white water, if ye see but a bubble sing out.

Bub Dinkleman: Easy there Captain Ahab, I’m pretty sure Shawano Lake isn’t deep enough to hold a white whale. I think our best bet today is to hang off some docks and points and make sure we get the right presentation angle for our lures. I may be changing my lure color to chartreuse once this cold front goes through.

Captain Ahab: It was Moby-Dick that dismasted me; Moby-Dick that brought me to this dead stump I stand on now. Aye, aye, it was that accursed white whale that razed me: made a poor pegging lubber of me for ever and a day!

Bub Dinkleman: Easy there Captain, as you know, too much noise can drive a school of bass away before you can get your first cast out. But I understand what you mean about the importance of fishing safety! A friend of mine hooked my ear when we were fishing for steelhead on the Root River and...

Captain Ahab: Aye, aye! and I'll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before I give him up. And this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that white whale on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till he spouts black blood and rolls fin out.

Bub Dinkleman: Well, since we aren’t tournament fishing today Captain, I think it’s best if we just do catch and release this trip. Ooo, say, there’s a nice overhanging branch, a perfect location for skipping! I’d suggest a stickbait, rigged Texas style and weightless. I don’t think you could go wrong with a Yamamoto Senko or Venom Salty Sling!

Captain Ahab: Drink, ye harpooneers! Drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat’s bow-Death to Moby- Dick!

Bub Dinkleman: If you’re looking for a beer Captain Ahab, I got some cold Leinies in the cooler by the livewell. Hey Captain, looks like you got a hit there! Holy Smoke, that’s no bass! You must have a muskie! I sure hope you have a strong enough line to pull him....whoa! Captain Ahab, where the hell did you get a harpoon?! Captain, put that down, only the tribes are allowed to spearfish!

Captain Ahab: Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.

Bub Dinkleman: Captain Ahab, your foot is caught in the line! Stop! Don't....

Captain Ahab: Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! And since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus I give up the spear!

Bub Dinkleman: Huh. It doesn’t look like he’s coming back up. Well THAT’S never happened before. Uhmmmm...OK, stay tuned as my wife Amy will have some delicious recipes for preparing shore lunch pike. We’ll also have a preview of next week’s Gone Fishin' when my guest Santiago from Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea and I search for crappies on Lake Winnebago!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you want my advice, Bub, I wouldn't challenge Santiago to a wrist wrestling competition. But what do I know about these things?

10:13 AM  
Blogger Isaac Carmichael said...

My boy used to watch those fishing shows when he was two years old...he'd just plop down in front of the TV in the early morning and watch it like it was Teletubbies.


8:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home