Monday, February 20, 2006

Desperate White House Housewife

In the beginning it was wonderful. He was just the guy I needed, experienced, knowledgeable about Washington and in charge of selecting himself. After the election we had a wonderful honeymoon. He really seemed to care that I did well back then, we were happy and carefree, ready to be friends as well as president and vice president.

Then things changed, he changed. That awful day in September affected us all, but Dick seemed to take it personally. I happened to be out of town, maybe that was it, he felt like it was his duty to take control and shoot down planes while I serpentined across the country. When I landed there wasn’t even a “Glad you’re OK” or “How are you?” from him, he just kept talking about how we had to attack Iraq! I was a little green then, I didn’t want to make him mad, I thought maybe we should concentrate on Afghanistan, but Dick seemed obsessed with Iraq. His old buddy, Mr. Post War Planner Rumsfeld, was there to back him up of course. “OK”, I said, “we’ll do it, will that make you happy?”

But it didn’t make him happy. He only seemed to get more sullen and secretive. I confronted him a few times, asking him just why he had to keep gallivanting off to his undisclosed location, but he’d just get all defensive and tell me it was none of my business. Me, the President of the United States and his whereabouts were none of my business? I started to get my reports of his activities second hand. Energy task forces, swearing at Senators and leaking the identity of a covert government operative, it was obvious he was getting out of control!

Well then this Texas quail hunt happened. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life! Honestly, how am I supposed to show may face around the other world leaders after this fiasco?. He goes off drinking and hunting with his pals and shoots a 78 year old guy in my home state and doesn’t even have the courtesy to call me until a day after it happens? What happened to us Dick? Why don’t we talk anymore? There are plenty of fish in the sea who would like to be the next Republican president you know! Why can’t it be like those first months again Dick, why? Maybe the honeymoon is finally over.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

zardoz says :

i dont know doc,

youre writings great,

i just dont find them funny anymore,

then again its just me ,


3:56 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

I find it great! Keep it up DrMax! :^D

6:45 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

Oh and I love the Photoshop work! Had me laughing my head off! ;^)

6:46 AM  
Blogger Isaac Carmichael said...

But they looked so happy together in your previous post!

3:20 PM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

Well nowadays, things can change pretty fast... *sigh*

7:20 PM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

I think that Cheney is cheating on Bush with Whittington. Whittington told Cheney on their hunting trip that if he didn't leave Bush for him, he was going to tell Bush about their trist. Then Cheney shot him in the face. "Go ahead and tell him and I'll finish the job!!!"

8:35 PM  
Blogger Flubberwinkle said...

Tainted love.
Perhaps a new war will rekindle the fires of their romance?

Btw, love the photo.

12:18 AM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Sylvana, you are brilliant! I always wondered what Cheney did in his undisclosed location. Have an affair! Of course. How obvious.

9:56 PM  
Blogger Chris Wilson said...

George, you want to keep your man in line, you got to put out! Obviously you've been holding back, that's why the boy is straying! Listen to Dr. Laura once in a while. Stop being so self absorbed.

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