Monday, February 27, 2006

Bode Miller Takes Gold in the Jello-Shot

Olympic downhill skier Bode Miller said he was elated by his only medal win during the Turin Winter games: a Jeno’s Bar "Booze-O-Lympics" first place gold in the jello-shot competition. “Of course everybody had written me off," said Miller, "but I knew the extra hours I was putting in at night were essential to bring home the gold. It's a true honor to wear this medal. It symbolizes the sacrifices I made over the last four years and Jeno said it can be redeemed for two-for-one specials at any of his franchise locations!"

Miller said it was a tough competition, but in the end, his dedication to grueling after hours partying finally paid off. Miller scored the gold in a “Drink The Rainbow” slalom. “You have to drink jello-shots in all the colors of the rainbow as you are pushed on a wheeled bar stool,” Miller said. “I was behind until the final heat, but I had a good feeling because of all the previous nights of chugging and projectile vomiting had really put me in the zone. That last run was a thing of beauty and, really, was why I came to Turin in the first place! The shots went down easy and I knew I had nailed it. I may not have been able to get out of a downhill starting gate the past two weeks, but I was unstoppable last night! Oh and trust me, there was some pot at the end of the rainbow, if you catch my drift”

Miller said he hopes the Olympic committee will consider partying as a demonstration sport in future Olympic games. “Hell, they’ve already rolled in the X-games to get younger viewers,” Miller said, “dude, this would be even bigger! Shot slaloms, 2 meter babe propositioning and keg emptying relays, are we talking awesome or what?! I’d like this Jeno’s Bar gold to be real Olympic gold one day. Besides I’m tired of getting smacked in the face by those downhill gates all the time, especially when I’m hung over.“


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that what they mean by "Miller Time"?

6:21 AM  
Blogger Isaac Carmichael said...

I loved the little "yean, I suck" shimmy he did after he screwed up his last race.

8:07 AM  
Blogger Isaac Carmichael said...

Oops, I meant "yeah", not "yean".

Yeah, I suck too. I guess that makes me a bodeist.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

He did a fabulous one-legged skiing exhibition after blowing one race. I was in awe. They really should give him extra points just for being able to remain upright.

8:32 PM  
Blogger Chris Wilson said...

This new sports avenue will be a good move for him. Endorsements could be quite lucrative, but I sense an over promise under deliver scenario emerging here as well.

9:56 PM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Bill cosby better watch out. Bode Miller is looking good as the new jello spokesperson.

9:58 PM  

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