Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Rudolph Asking For Trade From Santa's Team


Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, superstar and lynchpin of Santa’s sleigh team has informed his agent that he would like to be traded. Rudolf’s agent and part-time dentist Hermey the Misfit Elf said Rudolph was only thinking of his family, “Rudolph lives in Florida in the off season and the commute back and forth from the North Pole has been hard for his wife Clarice and their fawns.”

Some see Rudolph’s request more as a calculated tactic to renegotiate his contract with Santa than a desire to spend more time with the family. “We signed Rudolph only two years ago as our franchise player,” said Comet, player/coach of the reindeer team. “Unfortunately we’re hemmed in by the strict salary cap rules of the Holiday Symbols League and we just have no more room.”

Rudolph has also been the subject of recent off-Christmas Eve scandals. A battery charge against the shiny nosed reindeer after a scuffle in a New York nightclub was settled out of court and an F.U.I. (Flying Under the Influence) charge led to a fine and community service as a road construction warning light.

Hermey said he has already gotten calls from several interested parties. “It seems it is pretty dark when the Easter Bunny hides his eggs,” said Herme, ”some extra light from Rudolph’s nose would come in handy, not to mention the time saved in flying over all that hopping. My client also told me that he thought, with the right make-up, he could be a pretty scary Halloween monster. If we have him put in some fake fangs and fly out of the sky with that nose on high beam I bet more than one trick or treater would pee their pants!”

When reached for comment, Santa Claus said it was his hope that things could be worked out with his lead reindeer. “Rudolph has always been a valued member of this organization ever since his breakout performance on that foggy Christmas Eve. We’d be sad to lose him. But Santa isn’t made of money you know, if Rudolph does leave we’re pretty sure we could replace him with a couple of high performance xenon headlights.”

5 Comments:

Anonymous Snake (a Cambridge kind of guy) said...

First Manny, then Manny, then Ron, and now Rudolph? What is this world coming to?

7:17 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

A gem, DrMax! A gem!

8:04 AM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

I agree with macheadcase. Dr. Max, you're a genius.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

Holy Crap! This was hilarious! I was thinking about sending this to my sister who is a huge fan of Rudolf and Hermey, but I wouldn't want her to trace me from your blog!

3:36 PM  
Anonymous Gary said...

Brilliant LMAO

1:19 PM  

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