Monday, December 19, 2005

President Bush Says He Will Protect Freedom and Democracy By Shredding Constitution


In an address to the nation President Bush said that he will stop at nothing to protect freedom and democracy from terrorism, even if he has to shred the constitution to do it. He called the recent revelations that he approved domestic spying without warrants as “a superb example of how much I treasure liberty, and no Bill of Rights will keep me from protecting it!”

“The war in Iraq is an example to the rest of the world of how important the establishment of democracy is,” said President Bush, “unfortunately I have to dismantle it here at home for the time being. The constitutional cornerstone of granting US citizens protection from governmental intrusion should be seen as quaint in these troubled times. Sometimes one must ignore the document one swore an oath to defend if the golden light of liberty is to shine it’s redemptive power on all citizens of the world. Well, at least those citizens living outside the United States.”

“I sometimes think we are a little too fixated on the constitution in this country,” continued President Bush. “I mean, hey, I’m the commander in chief for crying out loud, you can trust me! I’m only going to be spying on suspected terrorists who intend to do us harm, people who Karl Rove needs some deep background on for midterms and hippies.....I hate those smelly hippies! I’m sure there’s some fudge room in the constitution if the president needs to defend his country. I’m gonna make some time this weekend to read the damn thing and prove it to you! But it had better not make me too sleepy to watch Sports Center on ESPN.”

5 Comments:

Anonymous Snake (a Cambridge kind of guy) said...

There is a paradox here, though I doubt Bush would call it that. I don't believe that word is part of his "working vocabulary."

6:20 AM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

I doubt that Bush has even read the constitution. I think that a prerequisite for being president is that you can recite the constitution from memory.

4:58 PM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

Bush can read??????

10:59 PM  
Blogger sideshow bob said...

Most people don't realize that freedom and liberty are finite resources, and in order to grant some to Iraq, we've got to give up some of our own. Stupidy, however, is like hydrogen...apparently inexhaustable (see: Presidency of Bush, George W.).

5:34 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

Interesting, isn't it, that the three modern presidencies considered "imperial presidencies" were all Republican: Nixon, Reagan, and Bush 43. I had been puzzled by the seeming contradiction of imperial Republican presidencies and the cherished Republican notion of "limited government" until I realized that limited government meant limited citizen participation and virtually no Congressional oversight.

See, not a contradiction at all.

12:18 AM  

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