Sunday, October 16, 2005

The Renaissance Faire Is All Politics

Dr Max begs your indulgence and would consider it an honor if you would read this old post from 5/10/05 while he is away

Huzzah good citizens! Perhaps you have seen me at the Renaissance Faire, I am the Sheriff of Nottingwood, Sir Blanchard. Tis I who puts citizens who have transgressed the Kings laws into the stockade. Photos can then be taken of thy “prisoners” and shared for the amusement of family and friends. Tis a fine job, but thou has done it for five years now and verily, I was oft’ promised that I would be promoted to the King’s Court as the Earl of Standish. Alas, as this year's list of roles was distributed, thy got the shaft. I 'twas once again assigned to be the damn Sheriff!

Thy skills have never been questioned. All thou has to do is read the Weekly Shopper’s review of my role as Hucklebee in the Turnpike Dinner Theater’s production of The Fantasticks. 'Twas a rave, thou can see it for yourself just under the two-for-one coupon! So why have I thus been denied my rightful part? Politics good citizens, politics.

Is it coincidence that this year’s Earl of Standish will be played by the King’s nephew? Thy thinks not! Upon the telephone I called that son-of-a-bitch King and told him assignment of his own family to the court was nepotism clear and simple! The King then requested that myself I should screw.

Unjust I say to you! My loyalty to the crown has never been questioned but my King has gone too far! Thou will not accept his reign any longer! Not only will you not see thee in my role as Sheriff of Nottingwood, I will no longer play Marley at the Dickens Yule Bazaar and Craft Festival! Perhaps the King/Scrooge will get his nephew for that part too!

Kind sir and lady, do not weep for me. Will thy miss the smell of turkey leg and shepherd's pie? But of course! However if staying at the Renaissance Faire means subjecting to the rule of this tyrant, I must be gone! My pride he cannot steal so I leave content. As Shakespeare said, “My crown is called content, a crown that seldom kings enjoy.” Particularly Kings who are dinks!



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8:06 AM  

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