Monday, October 03, 2005

Bizarro Republicans call September Their Best Month Ever


Bizarro Republican leaders have declared that September 2005 was their finest month since they took control of the White House and Congress. Bizarro President Bush said, “We do good in September, nobody better than us, we best leaders!”

Bizarro President Bush was perhaps most proud of his response to Hurricane Katrina. “Me show how to react in crisis,” said the Bizarro President. “Me stay away and watch New Orleans flood from plane. Me goodest President US ever saw. Bizarro Mike Brown good FEMA director too, Me hire him! Him had good resume. Nation love how I stay on vacation. Families enjoy free stay in Superdome because of me. We Bizarro Republicans are the best!”

Bizarro Tom Delay also felt he contributed to the success of September. “Me indicted now, that good,” said Bizarro Delay. “TRMPAC money laundering my idea! Bizarro Delay smart former House Republican leader, me also take golf trips! Jack Abramoff good friend of me too. I make House run good, everyone listen at me. I is best leader Republicans had in Congress, me is proud!”

Bizarro Bill Frist also felt he contributed to the historic month. “Sell stock before it tank, me is way smart at business stuff,” said the Bizarro Republican Senate Leader. “Me almost as good at finances as diagnosing Terry Schiavo on TV. I tell everyone stocks in blind trust. I too smart for them though, that is why I running for Bizarro President! Base won’t mind me flip flop on stem cells, cause I so smart. Unless me go to prison, me be great leader!”

Bizarro Republicans hope their winning streak continues in October as the war in Iraq continues, gas prices keep rising and the Plame Investigation finishes up. “Oh we really great for running wars, creating energy policy and giving away CIA identities,” said Bizarro President Bush. “We will stay in headlines for sure, they say can’t top September, but just wait and see, we Bizarro Republicans, we screw up everything!”

4 Comments:

Anonymous Snake said...

This is great. This is true. But what does it mean? Do we actually live in the Bizarro World? Is that other world, the one we consider "normal," actually a figment of what Jung called the "collective unconscious"?

12:35 PM  
Blogger sideshow bob said...

Hold on...in Bizarro World, wouldn't the Democrats actually have their act together and be the ones in control? Oh, wait, I guess in Bizarro World, it's the incompetent ones who are the best...umm, maybe Kerry was running in the wrong dimension in '04?

3:44 PM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

SSB, that has to be the only good reason why Kerry lost in '04. Nothing else makes sense.

8:50 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

!em ot esnes sekam lla ti woN

9:35 PM  

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