Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Leader of the Free World Addresses Crisis of Overgrown Brush


President George W. Bush today addressed the crisis of overgrown brush on his Crawford ranch in Texas. The President, who has the power to start a nuclear war which could extinguish all known life on our planet, worked in a gray t-shirt and cowboy hat.

Brush clearing has been a top priority of the Bush administration. In the President’s nearly 50 vacations to his ranch, the head of state for the world’s leading democracy, has cleared enough brush to fill nearly four freight cars. Brush clearing initiatives have surpassed nearly all other responsibilities for the Commander in Chief, including: addressing warnings about airplane attacks by terrorists in U.S., finding Osama Bin Laden, or making an immediate statement of compassion about the death of hundreds of thousands of tsunami victims.

Using a saw and hatchet, the Chief Executive of one of the globe's most powerful economic powerhouses, fell many small bushes and trees in a ravine near his horse barn. As the sweaty President happily hummed a country-western tune, loyal aides, more accustomed to assisting the most important office holder in the land in running the ship of state, instead helped him remove some stubborn curly mesquite. The aides debated whether to ruin President Bush’s mood by informing him of the death of 14 Marines in Iraq, as casualty news often reminds him of his famous “Bring ‘em on” statement. They decided to wait until later, and assisted him in removing some dried up coralberry.

The President of the United States of America plans to continue to clear brush for the entire month of August. He has requested that any important issues dealing with the war in Iraq or the struggle against extremist terror be postponed until September. By then the Leader of the Free World hopes to have the southern two acres of his ranch clear of some out-of-control shagbark hickory.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Snake said...

Hey Doc -- I didn't see this post until I filed mine. It seems we're on the same page, so to speak...

6:40 PM  
Blogger OldRoses said...

I just knew he had more important things to do than actually govern the country.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

Oh Holy Cow! I was LMAO!!! Great stuff, as usual. I was reading it to my husband. He was laughing really hard then asked if I was reading The Onion. So kudos to you!

9:34 PM  
Blogger DrMax said...

Thanks for the comments Snake, Roses and Syl. I took a little blog break yesterday, and while not Bush-like in length it was nice to get away from the computer. I want you to know I always read and appreciate the feedback, even if I don't respond in my own comment field. I like commenting in yours more.

9:13 AM  
Blogger MHN for short said...

He's got to do something on his day off. I wish he'd come to my house and do some handi-work...

8:35 AM  

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