Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Excessive Cash Pressure Causes Explosion at Oil Company Headquarters


Officials believe excessive cash pressure in a vault at Tentacucorp Energy headquarters in Houston caused a massive explosion of currency there today. They believe the leak in the vault caused a rupture which engulfed the building in ten and twenty dollar bills.

Holister Pendrake, spokesman for Tentacucorp Energy said, “Well thank God no one was hurt. We had accountants inside the vault just before the explosion. Luckily they had all left to refill wheelbarrows after the 4 o’clock cash delivery . With gas prices averaging almost $3.00 a gallon in most U.S. locations, our vaults are straining from the buildup in legal tender. I guess it was a matter of time before one of them blew!”

Tucker Handly, a lead accountant at the Tentacucorp facility, was near the vault when it exploded. “I’ll never forget it,” said Handly, “there was a muffled bang and before I knew what was going on, I was under four feet of bills. I tried to breath in, but my mouth kept filling with fives. I could feel blood from some paper cuts and started to panic when suddenly I heard someone calling out. I reached out and there was Phil Leeds, another accountant who worked the vault. He was having a hard time hearing due to a fifty that had lodged in his ear. We made our way through a greenish twilight of falling cash until we started to see some sunlight. I tell you I’m still shaking...and I think I have about $36.50 in my underwear.”

Pendrake said that Tentacucorp will be reviewing the technical specs of all their vaults . “Let me tell you, being flush with cash has it’s downsides," said Pendrake. “We see the price per barrel going up, it will probably hit seventy dollars soon. Couple that with our recent tax breaks in Bush’s energy bill and we’re not sure science can build a structure strong enough to hold such huge wads of cash. We’ve off loaded as much money as possible, we’re using a lot of the cash bricks for cube dividers now, but we can't keep up with the inflow. Our only hope is a devastating economic depression caused by high gas prices. That would give us a breather and we would finally have time to reduce our reserves through frivolous spending and embezzlement!”

7 Comments:

Blogger Herge Smith said...

Ahhh... frivoulous spending and embezzlement... the very corner stones of American politics.

3:41 AM  
Anonymous Snake said...

I just heard something on the radio about how embezzlement goes up when the economy is up, or is it the other way around?

4:45 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

Whoah! They better count themselves lucky that that incident didn't create a riot at least!

;^)

8:02 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

DrMax I had to delete Spam comments this morning on my blog so I have set my commenting permissions to Team Members-only. Would you like to join my team?

Uhm if so I'll have to send you an invite via email. Not sure how we can do this without getting Spam in our email boxes because it looks like we'd have to publicly post our email addies? Any ideas on how to do this without getting hassled after?

I so hate parasites... >_<

9:39 AM  
Blogger DrMax said...

Whatever you need to do to defeat the spamers MHC. I'll leave my e-mail at your site. Why can't they leave our defenseless comment fields alone?

11:32 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

Jeez! I just don't know... I guess my blog was "Flavour of the day"... *rolleyes*

11:52 AM  
Blogger MacHeadCase said...

Hmm looks like I'll have to leave you an email addie... My visitor hits have shot up in the last couple of hours so I can't exactly leave in the open my email addie...

I just created a new email addie... will delete it as soon as we make real contact. You can send me your email address at this address here:

mhc_temporaryATmacDOTcom

Then expect an invite from me to join my blog Team members that way you'll be able to comment just like before. :-)

Thanks for understanding the situation. See you later!

MHC

12:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home