Saturday, July 02, 2005

Supreme Court Decision Leaves Status of Devil Worship Monument in Doubt


The recent ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court allowing the display of religious exhibits on state grounds if the original purpose was not to promote religion, has left in doubt the status of the Devil Worship Monument in front of the Greensdale County Courthouse.

Greensdale City Clerk, Barry Lingman, said the Devil Worship Monument was erected in error on government property in 1965. “Well, Mrs. Daulsberg was the office secretary back in ‘65.” said Lingman. “She was the sweetest old lady but sometimes she got a bit confused. There was a film going around the drive-in theater circuit back then called The Devil Worshiper, I think Chad Everett or one of those guys was in it. Anyway, the promoter called to get permission to erect this Devil Worship Monument out in front of the ticket booth at the Starlight Drive-In, you know, to promote the movie. Now as it happens, we were also putting up a Historic Marker right in front of the Courthouse that same week. Again, Mrs. Daulsberg was just the salt of the earth, but she got the construction permits all screwed up and we ended up with that Devil Worship thing on our front lawn! Which, of course, we would have removed right away if not for Master Mephisto!”

Master Mephisto, self proclaimed Warlock Supreme in the Coven of Greensdale has filed multiple lawsuits in state court to prevent removal of the Devil Worship Monument. “The Dark One is my lord and I gladly serve him,” said Mephisto. “This is my religion and I must have the freedom to protect those symbols which celebrate it! My coven, which consists of me and my son Hank, will file as many lawsuits as it takes to keep this tribute to the grand tradition of satanism in our country standing. We take our religion as seriously as our septic tank repair business!”

Lingman said, “I tell ya, we are in a pickle. We’re not sure if the Supreme Court said it's OK to tear that stupid thing down or if we are now required by law to leave it up. We can’t really make head or tales of the ruling. We just wish Mephisto, and by the way his real name is Leonard Milton, we just wish Leonard would drop his lawsuits and let us do what’s right. Man, I’d trade places in a second with any of those cities having fights over a measly Ten Commandments Monument!”

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're my hero.

Who needs separation of church and state? US
Debbie | Homepage | 07.02.05 - 9:56 pm | #

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had hoped to be the first responder on the scene. But since Debbie made such a fine job of it, I don't have alot to say. As for your being a hero, I'd go along with that. Yeah, why not?
Snake | Homepage | 07.03.05 - 10:58 pm | #

12:52 PM  

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