Saturday, July 09, 2005

NASA Probe Penetrates Tom Cruise’s Ego

NASA scientist were jubilant yesterday when a probe launched over six months ago successfully penetrated the ego of Hollywood star Tom Cruise.

Dr. Dale Huston, Project Director for the Ego Impact mission said that scientists will now have an unprecedented look at what goes into the make-up of a superstar. “We’ve had our theories, but now we’ll have some solid facts,” said Dr. Huston. “We’ve always known there is a real core of acting talent there but Cruise’s recent erratic behavior had scientist puzzled. He fired his long time publicist, has been jumping up and down on talk show couches and claimed that the fields of psychiatry and pharmacology are frauds, his ego lost stability as it expanded.”

Dr. Huston said, “Initial readings from the probe seem to indicate a thin layer of Katie Holmes with a thicker layer of Scientology. The L. Ron Hubbard particles were off the chart which might explain the ego’s expansion. We wouldn’t question the sincerity of his personal beliefs of course, but it can effect an ego’s orbit if it turns into fanaticism. We worry about the substantial damage the ego could cause if a string of underperforming movies send it crashing down to earth!”

NASA scientist will continue to study the readings from the impact. “We’ve got an incredible amount of data to go through. With the success of this mission we would like to tackle an even bigger target. If funding is approved we could launch an impact mission next year to penetrate the ego of Russell Crowe.”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That IS amazing!! Did they have to use a wormhole?
sylvana | Homepage | 07.11.05 - 11:49 pm | #

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Russell Crowe has got nothing. Wasn't there something in the movie Sleeper about Norman Mailer's ego taking over a whole wing of the Smithsonian?
Snake | Homepage | 07.12.05 - 12:24 am | #

12:45 PM  

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