Friday, June 24, 2005

The Tough Job Market for Doodles the Clown

I tell ya, it ain’t easy being a party clown these days. I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s gas prices, but people just don’t seem to want to hire professional clown entertainment for kid’s parties anymore. I used to be busy every weekend before my divorce, and...ah crap, just a sec...Doodles will be done in a second kids, just hold your frickin horses OK? Gad, it’s gettin so a guy can’t take a smoke break anymore.

Where was I? Oh yeah, so anyways, I guess I can kiss all the that money I spent on the clown correspondence course goodbye. I can just hear my ex-wife laughing at me now. I don’t have anything booked through July! They said the jobs would just be rolling in but I....WOULD YOU BRATS PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN! DOODLES HAS A HEADACHE! Jesus Christ, you think parents could raise their kids to have some damn manners! Their little voices go through my rainbow covered skull like a pneumatic drill!

It’s probably the Nintendo that is ruining it for us clowns. These kids today just don’t appreciate a balloon animal made before their eyes or the wonder of a magic trick anymore. No, they are plugged in 24 hours a day to a TV or their computers and a guy with a little clown white and a wig just doesn’t do it for them anymore, it makes me...HEY YOU! YEAH YOU, THE FAT KID! DID DOODLES THE CLOWN SAY YOU COULD TOUCH HIS TRANS AM? NO HE DIDN'T! SO WHY DON’T YOU TAKE YOUR CHUBBY LITTLE PAWS OFF MY CAR BEFORE I.....OW! CRAP, GET OFF ME LADY!!!

Hey don’t worry, I’m leaving! Well, I don’t care if they are crying, what do you think of that? Oh yeah, same to you, bitch! (I’m tellin you, there’s another one, JUST like my ex!)

See what I mean folks? I’m afraid we have turned a corner in this country. The innocent entertainments of yesteryear, like clowns, no longer have meaning. How tragic. Hey pal, I ordered my boilermaker, like, 15 minutes ago, DO I HAVE TO MAKE IT MYSELF?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's that damn Friedman thing, which has killed business for all us clowns.
Snake | Homepage | 06.24.05 - 2:04 pm | #

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always thought clowns were scary, or depressing.
sylvana | Homepage | 06.25.05 - 12:49 am | #

8:20 PM  

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