Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Right to Life Group Protests Killing Cancer Cells

An extreme right to life group called No Life Too Small has made headlines recently by protesting the destruction of living cancer cells through medical treatments.

No Life Too Small’s leader Rev. Duke Maxwell says that man must not interfere with living cells, even if they are growing uncontrolled in a human body, “We must not try to read the Lord’s mind on which form of life is more important, whose to say cancer cells are not just as important as an embryo?”

Breast cancer survivor, Wendy Leevan disagrees, “I’ll say it. Cancer is bad. It is not like an embryo. I say destroy all of it you can find. Find a cure for it so no one in the future has to suffer or die from it. Also, let me say that Rev. Maxwell is a complete nincompoop!”

Maxwell’s group recently protested a Walk for the Cure charity event being held in Milwaukee Wisconsin. They carried signs which called the cancer survivors and family members of cancer victims “Cell Killers” and “Neoplasm Murderers.” Maxwell used a bull horn to berate those participating in the charity walk.

Charles Hanson, whose wife’s colon cancer has gone into remission was taken aback by No Life Too Small’s protest. “At first I thought it was a sick joke, then I just kind of stood there, slack jawed in disbelief. I got my senses back and punched that moron right in the nose,” said Hanson

Maxwell said, “It’s the typical liberal reaction I’ve come to expect. These are violent people, in the way they deal with different opinions and the way they deal with living cancer cells! This is why they use doctors to indiscriminately destroy these innocent cells through radiation, chemotherapy and surgical extraction!”

Leading cancer expert, Dr. Benett Yardley said, “Oh my yes, I’ve single-handedly destroyed hundreds of thousands of cancer cells, and will continue to do so in the future. It makes me happy to do it, and it really makes my patients happy too, since they like to stay alive. I guess No Life Too Small is entitled to it’s opinion of course, even if it is idiotic in a way I find difficult to describe in words.”


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