Saturday, June 04, 2005

Psychologist Says President May Have Issue Priority Dyslexia

A leading psychologist claims President Bush may be suffering from an undiagnosed case of Issue Priority Dyslexia, a brain condition that makes it impossible for a person to get his priorities in order.

"Take the President’s obsession with Social Security, “ says Dr. Marvin Sather of Midwestern University in Illinois, “I believe he was out touring again this week, like a Captain Ahab in search of the private accounts white whale. Of course, I’m not saying the funding of Social Security is unimportant, it’s just that the current budget deficit and astounding shortfalls in Medicare are what the President needs to be talking about. It’s this confusion in knowing what issues to publicize and address that is the classic sign of Issue Priority Dyslexia, or I.P.D.”

“I.P.D. can also effect a person’s perceptions, make them feel they are dealing with one issue when in fact they are dealing with an entirely different one, “ said Dr. Sather. “It’s possible that when the President talks about Saddam Hussein, his mind is really showing him a picture of Osama Bin Laden. When he gets reports about Iraq, it could be he thinks they are talking about Afghanistan, this is a very complex condition. Which may be why we are spending a majority of our military money and manpower in a country where the person responsible for September 11th is not located.”

“Although the President has some of the finest taxpayer provided medical care, this condition is very rare, I’d be glad to be called in to consult,” said Dr. Sather. “With the right kind of help we can keep I.P.D. in check and no longer have President Bush ignore high gas prices and health care costs because he thinks the most important domestic problem is activist judges.”


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