Sunday, June 05, 2005

On a Cosmic Level, Shakespeare's a Hack


When taking into account all the dramatists in the entire universe, William Shakespeare, considered to be one of finest literary figures in the history of Earth’s Western world, was found to be a hack writer.

Shakespeare’s reputation for distilling the truth of human behavior so that it resonates even 400 years after his plays were written remains, but only on Earth. His plays seem slight when compared to the Vetcan Cannon, an 18 year theatrical cycle in which real emotions are telepathically transmitted to the audience. Shakespeare may make his audience think, but the citizens of Palomar Beta 6 find that the Vetcan Cannon actually changes their lives, making them better six tentacled creatures when it is over.

Shakespeare also fairs badly against Tagmar of Kraslar, a playwright who lived for 600 years on the planet Lavlapau. Tagmar’s ability to manifest the actual characters of his plays into existence and produce multigenerational stories that were entertaining and enlightening, were enjoyed by Hologram Hall audiences all over the Pladran galaxy. They also put the Bard’s Globe productions to shame.

It is the size of the universe that is most damaging to Shakespeare’s reputation in space. On an Earth only scale Shakespeare, compared to all the alien playwrights of all the galaxies in the universe, would be like a writer from The Love Boat.

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