Monday, June 13, 2005

News Organization Deludes Itself into Thinking it Won't Lead with Michael Jackson Trial

A prominent news division of a major network fooled itself into thinking it was going to lead it’s broadcasts today with a story other than the Michael Jackson trial. “Today’s the day,“ said the formerly proud news organization, “we’re going to lead with genocide in Africa, or the troubles of the European Union, or even the danger to our troops in Iraq, not Michael Jackson!”

The new division went on, “ I mean Michael Jackson is an important personality, but is he really what we should be covering day after day after day? He is a 46 year old man who never had a chance to grow up properly. All his problems would have been averted if someone had just sat him down and said, ‘Y’know Mike....sleeping with young boys at your age is just not cool and actually rather creepy.’ I mean, we wouldn’t have to be watching this sad spectacle if somebody had just used some common sense with the guy!”

“But today we draw the line,” said the news organization, “today we tell America that it should be concerned with more important matters! High gas prices, the housing bubble, the battles in Washington over Social Security! Honest to God, it feels good to be a real news organization again! Finally we can hold our heads high and lead with a story that is real news and not gossip!”

The lead story of the news bureau's next broadcast was about how the stress of having the Jackson jury still out was hard on the spectators outside the court house.


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