Sunday, June 19, 2005

Kids Refuse to Give Father “World’s Greatest Dad” Ranking

For the third year in a row the children of Frank T. Krantz of Westacres CA, have refused their father the “World’s Greatest Dad” ranking. The ranking is usually granted to all Dads as a tradition of Father’s Day.

Jenny Krantz, 18, said her father is adequate, but she really wouldn’t call him great. “I broke up with my boyfriend the night before prom,” said Jenny. “As you can imagine, I was devastaed. I was crying in my room when Dad came in. I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face, and he just kind of looked embarrassed. He started stammering and said he’d only come in to check if I had anything blocking the cold air return for the furnace and that I should probably talk to my Mom. He then went downstairs to replace the furnace filters. Way to step up when I needed you, Dad.”

Larry Krantz, 14, said he too thought his dad was all right but could do better. “He has a pretty good job,” said Larry, ”but he’s not one of those super rich dudes, that, like, give their kids cars and parties and junk. For birthdays, all we get around here is a card that Mom signs for herself and Dad and twenty-five measly bucks. And trust me, there is no way he even remembers it’s our birthday unless he sees a cake with candles burning. Plus, if Mom didn’t put our name on the cake, he wouldn’t even know which kid was having the birthday!”

Frank Krantz defended himself. “I guess it’s not enough that I work all week so they can eat food and not sleep in cardboard boxes, “he said. “They should have seen my ol’ man, you messed up and it was the strap! They don’t know how nice they got it! Excuse me for not being all new-agey and telling Jenny and what-his-name that I love them every five minutes!”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife tried to sell our kids on the "world's best dad" line, but they weren't buying. I decided to be more realistic the girls there are a lot of good dads. I'm probably not the "best," but like Avis, I try harder.
Snake | Homepage | 06.20.05 - 2:49 pm | #

8:26 PM  

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