Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Deep Throat Transcripts


Universal Pictures and PublicAffairs have agreed to pay close to $1 million to buy the film and book rights to the life story of W. Mark Felt...the book will be published next spring and will combine Mr. Felt's recollections about his life and his relationship with Mr. Woodward with material written by John O'Connor, the lawyer who wrote the Vanity Fair article
- NY Times

Ronald Kessler: When I interviewed Mark Felt he had dementia from strokes and I felt it would be very hard to rely on what he said. When I mentioned Bob Woodward, he thought that Woodward was a government lawyer...
-Washington Post


O’Connor: Now Mark, when did you first meet Woodward?

Felt: I like cashews.

O’Connor: OK, Mark, now listen, WHEN DID YOU MEET WOODWARD!

Felt: Oh, he was in the Navy then, a courier as I recall. We met outside the Situation Room at the White House. Little did I know he’d later become a reporter for the Post and that our paths would cross again at one of turning points in the history of this country. Keep your eyes open, I think the squirrels are planing on stealing the syrup again.

O’Connor: Ahhh....anyway Mark, can you tell me why you felt you had to cooperate with Woodward and Bernstein’s investigation as a source?

Felt: Well sir, let me tell you. I am a loyal American, have no doubt about that. But when I saw what was going on in that White House, I had no choice. It was clear to me that Nixon’s activities were a danger to the Constitution of this great land, a Constitution I had sworn to defend! Also they had plans to unleash the giant mutant chicken they kept in the basement to attack the FBI!

O’Connor: Moving on...how would Woodward signal you that he wanted to talk?

Felt: I think he would move the plants on his deck or light the Bat Signal. Sometimes the magic elf that lived in my desk drawer would whisper that Bob needed my help. It was smart to listen to the elf, the alternative would have been to go face to face against that damn chicken!

O’Connor: All right, Mark why don’t I let you get some rest and we’ll pick up with some more tomorrow.

Felt: Yes, bring some cashews. And make sure that neither the squirrels or that big chicken follow you!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I know that chicken! Blue eyed and sharp toothed as I recall. Small world.
Debbie | Homepage | 06.21.05 - 8:36 pm | #

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that chicken Ann Coulter?
sylvana | Homepage | 06.22.05 - 1:47 pm | #

8:24 PM  

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