Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Baseball's Grand Tradition of Boredom

Baseball's Grand Tradition of Boredom

Summer is the season when one is reminded of America’s pastime: baseball. And when I think of this game, invented right here in our own country, I can’t help but think we really could have done better than this boring-ass sport.

Every year we get the endless poems and essays and articles about the hallowed tradition of this most pastoral of games. But not one of them mentions how butt-numbingly slow and mind alteringly boring the sport is. Yes, I’ve heard Bob Costas and Billy Crystal go on and on about their Dads taking them to Yankee Stadium and how their love of the game became a true bond between father and son. My Dad felt that the hassle of traveling across state, sitting in an hour traffic jam to park and paying premium prices for 3/2 beer to watch a scoreless pitchers duel, was just not worth his valuable time. He instilled in me the love of ducking out in the 7th inning to avoid the post game traffic jam, a tradition which I try to follow to this day. I can still see the joy in his face as he glided our Chevy Impala Wagon back home on the interstate free from stadium and the stultifying game taking place inside. I love ya Pop.

Of course in these past few years we’ve seen the importance of tradition in Major League Baseball. I speak of the legacy, handed down from the days of Ruth and Gehrig, of our boys of summer plunging steroid loaded needles into their thigh or buttocks. Yes, even the players apparently thought the game was so slow that they needed to transform into real life Incredible Hulks, knocking balls out of the park so the fireworks would go off and wake up all the fans.

I understand my opinion of baseball is a minority one. Please, go to the park and watch the exciting strategy of a two hitter if that’s what you enjoy. But I’ll be at home, comfortable in my easy chair, finding something more exciting to watch on TV. Like soccer

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watching baseball is like watching grass grow. I have always thought that it was boring. The only baseball games that I can even stand to go to are local ones- because you're there to drink and tease your friends on the field, not actually because you love baseball.
sylvana | Homepage | 06.22.05 - 1:45 pm | #

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Doc -- I beg to differ. I live in Boston (well, nearby) and for some strange reason I can't put my finger on, baseball has suddenly become fun again, the likes of which I personally hadn't seen for some 86 years... But I do agree with you on one point--I absolutely HATE all those books about baseball by literary types & pundits, who think we actually care about their love of the game.
Snake | Homepage | 06.23.05 - 11:47 am | #

8:22 PM  

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