Saturday, May 28, 2005

The Yin and Yang of Oxycodone


Before Oxycodone:

Ow, ow, ow. Stupid day surgery, stupid rear end. Stupid pilonidal sinus. This is how the long slide begins isn’t it? Body parts start turning against you. This shell for my soul is crumbling. Ow, just how the heck am I supposed to go to the bathroom when my hinder is bandaged? Keep shifting, can’t get comfortable. And does it have to be 90 frickin degrees outside too? What a way to spend Memorial Day weekend, no cook out, no beach, no beer, just sitting in my dumb house. Oh and great weekend for TV, everything sucks, substitute anchors on the news. Ow! Alright, alright I’ll take the stupid pain pills....

After Oxycodone:

Oh wow. Hey, how ya all doing? Yeah, dude, I had a little surgery, but everything is just fine-o-rific now. The doctor was great, and all her nurses who had to stare at my butt while they removed that embedded tuft of hair were GREAT! The graham crackers they gave me after surgery were GREAT! Y’know to be alive in this day of medical miracles is truly awesome, man. Wow, look at how beautiful the sunshine is. And you guys out there who read my blog, I....I, sniff, I love you guys, you’re all beautiful man...sniff, sob. Oh SCORE! A Facts of Life marathon on Nick at Night,it's too good to be true! Jeez I sure hope I can have day surgery again, this oxycodone RULES!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's great to see such a dramatic turnaround. Chalk it up to another miracle of modern medicine.
Snake | Homepage | 05.30.05 - 10:36 pm | #

8:43 PM  
Blogger Manhattan Spelling said...

ha.. that is great.. I write this comment on oxycodone.. that is totally great.. can relate to that post.. it puts everything so perfect in a shells nut! :-)

12:55 AM  

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