Monday, May 09, 2005

Legislators Hoping State Gets Visit from Infrastructure Fairy



That One Blog deja vu from 5/9/05 for your viewing pleasure while Dr. Max continues his secret mission.

Legislators meeting at the Capitol say they hope the State will soon get a visit from the Infrastructure Fairy. State Senator Paul Beerson said, “We’re hoping that in this next session, we can get the Infrastructure Fairy to fly to us, wave his magic wand and repair all known problems in our aging transportation systems. It could save taxpayers billions!”

Beerson said, “The Infrastructure Fairy lives in a giant castle in the clouds in the far away land of Fa La La. If a State Legislature is good and it’s members chant the magic words Fix-a-Da-Dee, Fix-a-Da-Doo while turning around three times, the Fairy will fly down the Milky Way Trail and fix all crumbling roads, weakened bridges and ancient rail lines.”

Asked if reasonable tax increases might more effectively address these problems, Beerson said, “That’s a typical ‘let’s throw money at it and hope some of it sticks’ approach. Taxpayers are sick to death their money being wasted on projects like shoring up bridges to prevent collapse and laying pavement to make roadways drivable! That kind of spending can only lead to one thing: an investment in the future. Trust me, the Infrastructure Fairy will take care of everything, with just a wave of his wand of mystery!”

“Look, this is a lot like the Great Pumpkin in Peanuts,” Beerson said, “ you have to be sincere or he won’t come. All this whining about increasing our state gas tax or using toll roads, just shows the Infrastructure Fairy we are not serious about getting his help. How can the residents of this state be expected to maintain any respect for lawmakers if we can’t get a mystical fairy to cover us in sparkle dust so we can all live happily ever after?”

Beerson said,”If the Infrastructure Fairy appears, we’ll be calling upon the Deficit Gnome and the Education Elf to help us as well. And we might even hire a handsome prince to slay the evil Healthcare Cost Dragon.”

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