Saturday, May 21, 2005

Dr. Max Vs. A Pan of Fudge Brownies


Hello pan of fudge brownies. So, we meet again.

You are a most worthy opponent, but Dr. Max is dieting. That’s right, I’m tired of seeing the impressions made in my flesh by the waist buttons of my pants. Dr. Max has a little thing called will power, pan of brownies with mini M&M’s, so your charms will not work with me!

OK, that was one little piece. I have to admit your crunchy little M&M layer, mixed with your rich moist fudgey interior was very, very good. But all I wanted was one little taste, so I say good day to you, pan of brownies, may you be enjoyed by others in this house.

Really, it looked strange just having one little piece missing in the corner, that looks much neater with the whole row taken out. Your deep sweet chocolatey taste was only enhanced by that large glass of cold milk. But I say “Adieu” to you now. If I feel the desire for a treat, a fresh crisp apple will do me just fine, and be much healthier for me in the long run. Nice try, pan of fudge brownies, but this is the NEW Dr. Max!

When you think about it, is there really any more calories in a half a pan of fudge brownies than a row of fudge brownies? Nah, not really. But now that I have gotten that little sugar craving out the way, I can cover the remaining half pan of brownies and begin the official, for real this time, start of my diet! Now, where are those carrot sticks and cottage cheese?

What the hell just happened? Where did all the brownies go? Oh Dr. Max, what have you done? It was almost like I was outside my own body watching myself as if possessed. I did the o’l “I’ll just take a couple of real small pieces” routine, which really doesn’t mean anything when you eat 40 small pieces! Then as the final row of brownies was approaching I used that excuse that is the last refuge of all scoundrels, “Well, I better eat them all so I can get them out of the house!”

Why am I so weak, what is wrong with me? I told everybody that I was dieting, I’m gonna look like a fool when they see.....unless. Heh, heh, good thinking Dr. Max, a NEW pan of brownies and no one will be the wiser. Let’s get baking!!

Hello pan of fudge brownies. So, we meet again...

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