Monday, April 18, 2005

Cardinal Caught Practicing Papal Signature During Conclave


(Vatican City, Rome) Cardinal Bud Lewis of Minneapolis was found to have been practicing a potential Papal signature during the first day of the historic conclave to choose a new Pope, taking place in the Sistine Chapel. Cardinal Lewis mistakenly left a blue Meade notebook behind after the conclave, which contained multiple variations of a Papal signature written over several pages in the back.

The notebook was found by Cardinal Richelieu of France who said, "Man, Lewis had all the rest of us Cardinals in stitches. Like we'd really choose him to be Pope, he's what? 43? I mean, seriously, you should have seen what he wrote, 'Pope Pius XIII' and 'Pope John XXIV' and he's underlined them and has these cherubs and junk as a border. I tell you the guy must have gotten too close to the black smoke."

Cardinal Lewis defended himself, "Look, I was only doodling while the ballot process was going on, which takes forever because of all the ceremony! So, just my luck, Richelieu finds the notebook. He tells everybody else then they all start in with the razzing." Cardinal Lewis added, "Hey, I dare you to take a look in their notebooks, don't tell me I was the only one, you know what I'm saying?"

The Papal conclave continues tomorrow.

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